The Night Bus to Mae Sot

Great, I thought when Erin tells me we have the VIP night bus from Bangkok to Mae Sot. Reclining chairs, AC, snacks, water. Let me tell you what it was really like. I'll just give you a few facts so that you can put things in a more accurate perspective.- picture a greyhound bus on steroids. Double decker. We are in the top. - the seats do recline, some, but the whole seat assembly moves as well when a big bump comes- ac, yes. It is important to remember the different environmental conditions that characterize growing up in east tn and Thailand. We westerners like ac lots. Thais, not nearly as much. Most of them were turning off their vents. Great, I thought, more for me. More on this momentarily.- our bus driver had no qualms about passing big slow trucks going uphill on windy curvy roads. Even tho we were a big slow bus.- there was a baby across the isle and up one. At random intervals of every 22.3546 minutes, it would screech and wail. I'm thinking the parents must be pinching the poor child after worrying about its silence every 22.3545 minutes. You know, just to make sure it is still alive?- behind me, about 2am, I started hearing a banging. It got louder and louder and seemed to be when the bus made a left turn and then straightened out again. As we rolled into one of many brightly lit Thai military checkpoints, I looked back. My Thai buddy behind me had opened the side emergency door, ostensibly for "air". It was standing wide open and a large vehicle was headed our way and was i sure the door would get clipped. I reached back to close and he grabbed the door, slammed it shut, and gave he a disgusted look. I think he was cold from my AC and this was his way of warming up.- an emergency door flapping open behind me might not have normally been all that odious for me except for two things: one is that it let in a lot of smoke from burning sugar cane fields. There are a lot of burning sugar cane fields on this road. The second reason harkons back to the days of Mr Wizard (before that horribly disfiguring accident). Remember what happens when warm moist air meets cool air? I sure do. Condensation. And not just a little.- I started noticing stabbing bolts of coldness waking me up from my road stupor. It was raining. Inside. Cold water drops were hitting me from head to foot. I reached up and noticed water dripping out of the ac vents. Out of the light switches. Out of the light recepticles (maybe this was why they did now work). No way to stop it really. After a few hours, with the emergency door closed, the massive amount of water eventually dripped out over me and stopped.At least one moral of this story is the differing perceptions regarding "traveling in style" that exist between my 20-something daughter and this 50-something man who really has traveled in style before. I'm getting ready to double check the flight arrangements she made for us to fly into Cambodia just to make sure of a few things. Like, jet or biplane? Are farm animals allowed on the flight? Do I have to stand, or do we have seats? You know, the basics.